Rated: R
Running Time: 134 Minutes
Year: 2005
Boobs: Two pairs
One Sentence: There is this one scene with some man spit as lubrication.

I have been avoiding Brokeback. Not because of the gayness, but because it is about a gay relationship. It has very little I can empathize and associate with. Also it looked kind of boring to me. Sheep herders, and cowboys fall in love in Wyoming. Do I really have anything in common with this movie. After seeing it, no not really. Did I like it? I guess so. I mean it was fine.

A movie about 2 sheep herding cowboys that fall in love and how that life lasts over 20+ years. It is slow, yet interesting, yet slow, yet politically charged that could mean many things, yet I don't care about those things. Yes the movie is good. But it isn't good enough to say you must go see it. With the subject matter and the slowness I can not even recommend this movie.

I hate to say don't watch it, so I am not going to but I am not going to saw watch it either. This movie is a repressed, sad, violent love story and it just is not powerful enough to warrant a recommendation, however because it is an important film those who feel that the subject might be of interest to them will be happy they rented it. I would not say best movie of the year. But I still think V for Vendetta is the best film of the year, so I am coming from a different place.

Rated: R
Running Time: 93 Minutes
Year: 2005
Boobs: Zero
One Sentence: I know that Saw III just came out, but I have a hard time seeing Saw because the GF refuses to watch it.

For my birthday I got to watch Saw II. YAY! I was alone however. Boo. But that is ok, at least I got to watch it. I liked Saw I a lot, I suspected I would also Like Saw II a lot as everyone has said it was quite good and stood up to the first one. I agree with this statement. I think that the movie was quite good, and as I said about the first one, is not just a horror movie, but something more.

The movie is not really horror, some call it Torture, but I am not in bed with that term either. I still call it psychological. Saw II was a lot like Cube. It had a problem to solve, and ways to solve it, and unlike some movies, this one gives you all you need to figure it out for yourself from the get go. The rules/clues are all there. You have to see if and how those rules are followed, but they are all there from the get go. I like this. It's a bloody puzzle and I enjoyed it quite a bit.

The acting was not horrible, not great. It really isn't important as long as it didn't suck horribly, it is a filler for the story, not something to be showcased and praised. Good ideas, good traps, good twisty plot line, good gore, and not really scary in the jumpy rawr type of scary. All these things lead to a very solid 4 and a recommendation to rent, but I assume anyone that was going to see it probably saw it last year.

Rated: R
Running Time: 129 Minutes
Year: 2006
Boobs: Zero
One Sentence: Not as good as 25th hour.

I hated Summer of Sam. I hated everything about it. It was angry, repressed backward mob mentality thinking, and was also sweaty, and dirty. Just made me feel gross all over like I needed a shower. After Summer, I was not really interested in another Spike Lee movie. Then I somehow saw 25th hour and loved it. Thought it was a wonderful movie and my faith was renewed. I wanted to watch Inside Man, since I saw the preview, but didn't get around to seeing it in the theater. I didn't even know it was a Spike Lee movie until I got it at the house. Bank movies are cool, heist movies. I like them.

So we got Clive, and Denzel, in a bank heist movie, directed by a guy who I came out as liking after a single fuck up. It all sounds like a good combo to me. It was pretty much. The movie was almost all heist however. It didn't grow any characters, so you didn't care about any characters. Luckily the content seemed to keep it going enough that I didn't need to know much about anyone in the movie. I just felt like I didn't know who to like and who not to. I would say that the movie was a bit on the slow side. I got enough geek out heist stuff to keep me entertained, but I think that for some it might be a little thin on excitement or complexity. They also had this weird part for Jodie Foster, which was a bit out in left field. It really seemed kind of like a forced part, that if you left out of the movie, you would not even have missed her. However I think that Spike likes to bring in lots of different types of people and show them interacting with each other. So I expect that is why she was there.

It was a 4 but a light 4 pushing 3, because it was a bit slow. But it had enough of that cool bank heist feel to carry it, and keep it at the 4. I would add it to the queue. I don't think many will have a bad time with it.

Rated: R
Running Time: 105 minutes
Year: 2006
Boobs: One pair, but they were HOT.
One Sentence: I want these motherfuck...nevermind.

As you might or might not know. I am slightly afraid of flying. I am trying to get over it. I still fly, but lets just say it isn't the most relaxing experience. Within that fear are stupid doomsday scenarios like perhaps some electrical thing fails because a fucking snake is in the wires, and fucks up the plane and we all crash and die. OK, that didn't exist before Friday night, but it is there now! So not only did I watch this movie, I faced my fear of flying. The things I do for you. You should be thanking me.

I know most of you have probably never heard of this movie. It really didn't show up too much on the internet, and there were not a lot of commercials for it. Pretty much it is a movie about some snakes on a plane. I know crazy right. It is almost like the title tells a little too much about the movie. I don't know if they wanted to ruin the surprises for all those who happened to come upon this movie. Anyway. It is an action, horror, comedy, police drama, love story, plane thriller, snake movie. Samuel L Jackson was in it. The girl who played Tiffany in Road Trip, and Kennan from Good Burger, and SNL.

This movie is...not a complete pile of crap. In my opinion, it was far better than I expected it to be. This might be because I am a little bit afraid of flying and so I was just a little tense to start off as it was. It was pretty brutal, a lot of snakes, a plane, dead people, Sam Jackson and one BIG motherfucking snake. I don't know, I had fun with it. I thought it was totally rentable, and some of you might actually have fun with it in the theater. The movie is total popcorn and I think they delivered what they were supposed to with it. Good Stuff. Add it to the save queue, if you are not gonna see it in the theater. It is probably more like a 3, but I am giving it a 4 because of the reshoots to make it rated R.

Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 134 Minutes
Year: 2005
Boobs: Zero
One Sentence: Matthew Broderick ain't Ferris bueller no more.

Continuing on with Will Farrell we have the producers. A movie based on a musical based on a movie. This is not exactly a remake, it is more like an evolving work in progress. The original movie, was not an musical. It had some songs in it, but was more of a Mel Brooks comedy, it won Academy Awards, people laughed, Mel Brooks is a genius. Then it was re-written into the Broadway Musical. It won Tony Awards, people laughed, Mel Brooks is a genius once again. Then they wanted to cash in on the Broadway success, and decided to make a movie version of the Broadway musical. It was nominated for a Golden Globe, people laughed, Mel Brooks is a genius by cashing in 3 times on the same movie. Him and George Lucas must be very good friends.

I have not seen either the original nor the Broadway play. I am only one man. I can't see everything under the sun. However I have seen the movie. The newest version and I do have to say, that Mel Brooks is a genius. We all knew this. However this movie seems to be the perfect execution of his style of comedy, with a wonderful script that is directed by Susan Stroman. The blend of music, dancing, comedy, slapstick, hot ladies, old ladies, and Hitler is just fun for the whole family. If your whole family is you and your girlfriend. The movie is like a high end version of any other Mel Brooks movie. It has all the jokey things you have come to expect and want, but maybe put together a little bit better.

The cast is all right. I love Nathan Lane. Matt is kind of weird, he has just gotten so uptight, and it really shows. It is what the character is calling for, but it seems so odd to see the former class skipper just make squeaky noises. Uma was super hot in this one. Something about her was WOWEEEWOWOW! She really did a great job. Will was also quite funny. Along with a backing Broadway cast of old women, old queens, and giant female bratwurst's this movie I think is a renter for most people for sure.

Rated: R
Running Time: 130 Minutes
Year: 2005
Boobs: Quite a lot
One Sentence: He ain't no Captain Jack Sparrow.

Johnny Depp, started his career in Nightmare on Elm Street part 1. He played Nancy's boyfriend, and was killed while falling asleep watching movies, and listening to music on his headphones. He was sucked into his bed, and then the bed vomited gallons of his blood onto the ceiling of his room, and then his mom walked in, seeing the sight started screaming. Never would you have expected then, that he would ever become the actor he did. And never would have thought of him playing this part in The Libertine.

The second Earl of Rochester, a poet, drunk, womanizer, and personal friend to the king of England. The tortured man lives his life without a care of others, or a care for himself. The movie is dark, and not an upbeat in anyway. They seem to show no restraint of language, sexual behavior, or the downward spiral of the life that was led. In short it is not a nice film. However the movie seems to be quite alluring the dialog, and surprub acting, drive the film through the scenes and keep you watching, in what would otherwise be a sort of boring movie. The character is not particularly likable, but with Johnny Depp driving it, it somehow captures you and keeps you from thinking them movie is over 2 hours long.

The movie mostly lit with candlelight, to give it a real feel is completely dark and green. High levels on grain are on the film from the lack of light and noise that the camera must balance with. However the lighting does not feel awkward or out of place. The sets and costumes are all there. Attention to detail and language all seem to be executed with skill and knowledge of the past. It was just all put together well.

However with the good things I have to say, and the rating it will get. I do not necessarily want to recommend it as one to add to the queue. While a good film, it is not a nice film. Dark, disgusting, vile, and very depressing, it is defiantly not for everyone, and I want to make sure you are aware, that this movie, while not the most depressing piece of film ever shot. Is not for everyone.

Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 95 Minutes
Year: 2006
Boobs: Zero
One Sentence: Let us not forget that Ivan Reitman directed Stripes and Meatballs.

I think many other people were as reluctant as me to go watch this movie. How it came to be that I saw this instead of Lady In The Water, I am not totally sure. However if I had known the full cast before I saw the movie, I would not have even batted an eye at going to see it in the theater over Night's next possible fuck up. Who you know is in it, Luke Wilson and Uma Thurman. Who you do not know who is in it. Eddie Izzard, Awesome. And Anna Faris, who is on a very short list of totally awesome Hollywood girls that I really think are cute and funny, and will see pretty much anything with them in it. (The others are Parker Posey and Zooey Deschaniel)

So right at the beginning of the movie I am kinda happy because of who is in it, and in the first few minutes I see that they did spend the full cash money on the CG effects. Which is nice for a comedy. I like it when they don't skimp on that because it isn't a action flick. The CG was clean, and looked good. So we are doing really well here. Could it be this movie, is not totally suck. I guess it can, because the movie also was pretty fucking funny. It was pop, I am not going to lie to you. This is total pop movie crap. But it is good pop crap and totally worth the rental or a date with the lady/boy. I had an excellent time with the movie from start to ending. Uma was awesome. Luke was totally awkward, and very well played. Eddie Izzard was not as amazing as I expected him to be, but fun, none the less, and Anna, she pretty much can do no wrong in my book. And Rainn Wilson from The Office, was really funny too. The cast was really great.

So this whole movie was expectingly good. It felt like a funny super-hero comic book movie, that did all the right things in the right places, so that guys would have a good time, girls would have a good time, and it would have a little romantic twist in it, to really sell it to everyone on the market. Sadly it did 7th place below Clerks II. (Both should have been higher) I think the marketing on this one didn't work for the movie, because really the movie, is totally worth the watch, add it to the queue.

Rated: R
Running Time: 97 Minutes
Year: 2006
Boobs: Kevin's wife's through her see through bra.
One Sentence: Fuck Joe Seigel.

I was worried. I saw Jersey Girl. I hated Jersey Girl. It was a pile of suck. Dirty ugly suck. I thought maybe the tubby bitch had gone soft. Lost his touch. Forgot where he came from. Was making a sequel because he had run out of steam. However I knew better, those thoughts were short lived, and only really written because I needed something to cause there to be mystery and understanding with my review. To show that I am a well rounded viewer, and not blind to anything Kevin does as solid gold. That my opinion is valid? Actually no, my opinion is anything but valid. But I write anyway, more to amuse myself than anyone else I am sure, and today we review Clerks II. Formerly Passion of the Clerks. I like the new name much better.

So we are back where we started about ten years later. Kevin has lost some weight, I have gained some weight and one of us had a kid. I am the one without the kid. Does a second trip down the clerks aisles show as good as the old black and white darling of 1995? I would say a solid yes and no. Helpful I am sure. No, because it wasn't exactly new. Actually I think it was quite old hat. Almost exactly the format for clerks 1. Funny situations, intelligent conversations about movies, nerd shit, and vulgar situations. Yes, because it was old hat, but still god damn funny. The humor is really there throughout the movie, and really runs the gammit of anal sex to transformers. It keeps up solidly, and I think he really let himself go with this flick. He seemed to have very little restriction from anyone above him. It was let loose and it worked well I think.

The acting, situations, Jay and Bob, and the ending all seemed to work for me. I had a good time with it, wasn't disappointed, and think that any Kevin Smith fan would have a great time watching this for sure. I think that most of you however do not need to go see it in the theater. Anyone that was going to go already did go. And the movie showed up in 6th place for the weekend, below Little Man. However it still made a lot for it's 5 million budget. So they are doing well there. If you were wanting to go see it in the theater and were looking for the green light, I say go for it. You will not be disappointed.

Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 150 Minutes
Year: 2006
Boobs: Zero
One Sentence: GWAR hunts for Johnny Depp across the Caribbean.

135 million dollars, on a non-holiday weekend. Taking the new record for weekend gross from Spider-Man 2 and also the single day record for opening day. A franchise, that Disney didn't really like, thought was going in the wrong direction originally, and wanted to fire Johnny Depp. Old white men, should never make decisions on movies. Have you seen the movie yet, probably according to those numbers. So why am I writing this review even? Am I really going to sway you one way or the other on this one, I doubt it, but I guess it is my duty to write away.

This movie, is not as good as part 1. If that is what you were waiting for I was just going to get that out of the way right there.

Sadly the movie falls a little into the sequel curse, by recycling jokes, and stuff that was what they heard people liked in the first one and executed those things again to hope that they can create the buzz they need to carry the movie. The problem with that is, people are going to it anyway, and do not need the recycled stuff, to make it a great movie. Luckily the recycled stuff was a small part of the movie, and wasn't done to excessively so it didn't bother me too much.

The story is a great story, and the characters are awesome. Davey Jones, and his band of rock monsters sailing the seven seas to bring you the ultimate in death rock are quite awesome. I really liked their story line, my only problem with them was that they looked like they were from the band GWAR and I kept seeing GWAR in my head when they were on screen, and it made their outfits seem a little too overdone. Everyone else I know really liked them, so it is probably just me. They also added hot scrumpett Naomie Harris, as a bayou living voodoo girl, that I enjoyed quite a bit, and was way hot. Everything else about this movie was solid and quite good, but never was it GREAT to me. I had an excellent time, but it didn't give me that chill that my 5 star movies give me, so this one is scoring a 4. I feel bad saying that, but I bring the truth. I love them pirates, and I really love the movies, and thought it was quite a good time, but not 100% awesome. Go see it in the theater anyway, and stay till after the credits.

Rated: PG -13
Running Time: 154 minutes
Year: 2006
Boobs: Zero
One Sentence: In a stunning turn of event's superman has returned and is not nearly as gay as you might have thought.

I am not a superman guy, I am also not a comic guy. I never have been. I know some stories about some things, because I have nerd friends, but I have never read a comic from cover to cover and never ever purchased one. Superman, the comic, hero, has always been in my opinion kinda lame. I mean he's all super powered, but far too perfect. He didn't have a dark past. His suit was way lame compared to any one else, even aquaman, and I don't know he was just all right, not someone that peaked my interest. Superman the movie character, Mr Christophe Reeves, I liked, and felt he did a good job. I have never seen Superman 3 but I have seen 4. I liked the movies, but do not own them on DVD. I appreciate them, but never fell in love with them.

Jump to Superman Returns. This is a sequel, not a remake as we have seen with everything else that has come out in the last 5 years. Superman leaves and comes back 5 years later. From there on, what can you say, it is just that a sequel. It is not a shitty sequel. It is worth watching, but outside of new dangers, and different lives of people, it is more of the same old thing. Repackaged with a new suit, some new special effects, and some new people. Like Cyclops, but not playing Cyclops.

The new superman, as I wrote above is not nearly as gay as he has looked in the previews. Perhaps it is because it is 2006, but that suit, and those cheeks, make him look like a switch hitter. I think he did quite well to live up to the level of scrutiny he was going to have to pass. A must better casting that certain other large roles from that past, that had big black, space suit shoes to fill. He played a very good Clark Kent, and a just fine superman. Lib said, he was creepy to her, so all you ladies out there, might think he's a little creepy.

I have written a lot but have not said too much, I think I am going to say it was good, and give it a 4, but I think you could actually rent this and not feel too bad, but it does have SOME good action sequences that could justify the box office ticket, but I would save your money and line up now for Pirates instead because everyone is saying that is the movie of the summer to see.

Rated: R
Running Time: 103 Minutes
Year: 2005
Boobs: A lot, including Michelle Monaghan and Shannyn Sossamon
One Sentence: Why can't more movies not suck like this one does?

I knew nothing about it, I don't even know if I heard about this movie. It got added to my queue because chris2342 was like, I want to have sex with this movie I love it so much, if it was a girl I would marry it and have 14 babies with it. Not really, I mean he liked it, but didn't say anything about sex or babies. Anyway, it got added to the queue, and then it showed up at the house before it was up in the queue, because it was in the gf's queue. How she knew about it I don't quite remember. So anyway, we got to watching it, and I was going to be let down, because I felt it got hyped, and I hate that, because then I am let down. But luckily I was not let down.

The movie is some sort of real/noir/pulp movie about LA, murder, sex, and the movies. It is led my Robert Downey Jr, and my always favorite Val Kilmer, who will always hold a special place in my heart. I have not bought into the whole Robert Downey drug thing, I mean I believe it, but I could give a fuck as long as he isn't hurting small animals, and can still act, which he can, and looked excellent for his age in my opinion. Yea, so anyway, good shit, the acting that is. I don't get why people always gotta rip on Val Kilmer, I mean, that one movie sucked, but he's awesome, he was Iceman, for fucks sake, and Chris Knight in Real Genius, which if you have not seen should rent and own today.

So this movie, has got murder, and comedy, together, which people seem to enjoy quite a bit. I know I liked it. The dialog and subtle humor is very solid, and carries the film through it's quarky yet partially intriguing mystery, that might or might not matter in the scheme of the movie. What ends up happening is we far more care about the relationships these people are building during this murder mystery, and it is excellent. Along with all that this movie is hot, as in sexy, in so many way's. Artistic naked chicks, titties all over the place, hot girls that are the stars of this movie and previous movies getting naked, sexual tension, and all this other stuff mixed in that reminds you why we all do and never want to live in LA. In the end Kiss kiss is totally rentable in every way, so add it to the queue, or those still rocking that 90's attitude, go to your local blockbuster and pick up your VHS tonight!

Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 135 Minutes
Year: 2005
Boobs: Zero
One Sentence: This was nothing like Pocahontas!

I think a lot of people didn't trust this movie, because they were not sure what it was about, and that Colin Farrell was the lead role. It was portrayed as some sort of Colony movie, but wasn't really pushed off as the story of Pocahontas, and John Smith. It was just some sort of Indian Killing movie. At least that is what I thought of when I think back to the trailer. I also thought that I wanted to see it. I think however the general viewing audience would have thought little of it with what they were offered.

Terrence Malick wrote and directed a beautiful wonderful story about the establishment of Jamestown in the 1600's and the life of those that helped shape this time. Including Colin Farrell as John Smith and a new girl as Pocahontas. The story unfolds slowly, but executed with precision and grace. The filming assumes the viewer can understand what is going on, if everything is not spelled out for them, and takes a lot of liberty with that. Some scenes are quiet or chopped very short and they transition quickly not showing you the barren details of the event. This left you paying more attention to the movie, and finding more beauty in the surrounding of each scene. This is where he seemed to excel the most, in finding beauty and meaning for every scene, without explicitly telling you frame by frame what was happening. I found it to be very well done. However I think it forced the movie to be a bit slower, and for those without the patience for it, they might feel this movie is a bit boring.

The depiction of everything of the period seemed done very well. The ships, and clothing to the native American's of the period. Weapons and speech all seemed to be well executed and presented with respect to the period and the people involved. Overall I felt the movie was a solid good story, that was a bit slow at times, but always beautiful, and I think that those that think this review makes the movie sound interesting, should enjoy it.

Banlieue 13

Rated: R
Running Time: 85 minutes
Year: 2004
Boobs: Zero
One Sentence: In France there are a lot more white gangsters.

We hit up District B13 or Banlieue 13 in French. The Alamo South had it so we hit it up for our Monday night movie. I know nothing about this movie as far as History, all I know is it was made in 2004 and the Alamo thought it was good enough to run. I am not sure if it is in any of your theaters, or if you can even rent it.

The idea is that it is 2010 in Paris, and they have walled off all the bad ghettos, from the rest of Paris, and the worst one B13 is a crime ridden hell hole. Led by gangsters and drugs. One day these gangsters get a big old bomb and it is bad news for all the people in Paris. So they send in a cop and a former thug to take care of the situation.

So the movie is pretty much an all action super cool freestyle walking/fighting music video. With music produced by Dr. Octopus. A name I have not heard in a long while. The pulse of the movie is awesome, just fast paced with good music and solid fight and chase scenes. It's totally popcorn in every way. Oh the movie is all in French however, so you will have to read subtitles. Anyway, they got these two guys who do all that wall climbing super cool freestyle walking. I think there is a name for it but I can't think of it. So they exploit that to no end, having all these cool action fight sequences and chance scenes on foot. Also some tricked out ricers and just over all felt very stylish and fun. It had a pulse like Run Lola Run.

The plot was a little cheesy but I didn't really care, it had a good opening title sequence and just held on throughout most of the movie, with very little slow down to build up any plot, so I didn't really care. The only thing I have to complain about was that I wish they had at least one more cool fight or chase scene, it was only 85 minutes and they could have fit it in without seeming over reaching. I guess if you see it as a rentable, then you could add it, I think most people would have fun with it.

Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 104 minutes
Year: 2006
Boobs: Zero
One Sentence: It's based off of a comic book ya know.

This is going to be short...

120 million. New Memorial Day record.

Brett Ratner is going to get to make more movies.

The movie did not suck in any way at all. I do not get where people are saying it sucked. It is a fucking comic book movie. It is based off a comic. It isn't supposed to be some sort of life changing amazing meaningful thing.

It was more X-men shit. What more can you ask for. I thought it was mostly cool.

I am taking Liberties quote, as a good summary of why this movie did not suck. She said, "As long as it is like the cartoons, I am happy." I think that is a smart statement.

So I think you should go see it, but based on how much money they made, you already did.

Rated: R
Running Time: 102 Minutes
Year: 2006
Boobs: 1 boob and 1 penis
One Sentence: The most accurate portrayal of art school as we know it.

There was a point where I was thinking about money, and school and life and things, and I thought to myself. Man this art shit is crap. I really don't want to do this. I want to have money instead. I then mostly gave up on the idea of going to some film school to learn to edit. It was then that I realized that the application of "art" as a non-commercial product is silly to me, unless it is purely for yourself, and if it was for yourself only you don't need school for it. That it is only viable as a product, that will be consumed like any other product and can only be mass produced to make any money, unless you are 1 in a million. There was no way I was going to be 1 in a million.

This movie, just seemed to reconfirm the choice I made, and that if I truly want to be an artist as I want to express myself, the only way I can do that is though money creation at a real job and then finding some way to niche myself in some other format. That format has become these reviews. And pictures. Maybe some snark too, if I can find the time for it.

While the movie might be a crushing blow to all you 18 year old's with stars in your eyes about your painting of a dead duck and some doll hair spray painted white glued over the eyes of the duck. It is still quite funny throughout the movie. It starts off with great niched characters, that you can pick out easily that all fit the mold of these people that you know, or knew. The dialog is funny, crisp and smart. It really hit home for me and kept me laughing all the way through 2/3rds of the movie.

At about 2/3 through, it took a turn for the dark side, the humor was gone and a darker more evil look at the situation took over. It was slightly jarring, as this movie was pushing toward really really god damn funny. And suddenly BAM, we are met with some dark subject matter. I wouldn't say that it was completely out of place just unexpected. However I got through it and still left the theater thinking I had a good time overall with the movie, and that for any of you art nerds, this movie is defiantly a renter. I don't think anyone needs to see it in the theater with X3 this coming weekend. Just add it to the queue.

Rated: R
Running Time: 92 minutes
Year: 2005
Boobs: Zero, thanks to Tom Cruise
One Sentence: No one is seen smoking a cigarette in the entire movie.

"Why is America the greatest country in the world?" "Our endless appeal process." In the midst of Tom Cruise and his missions, and the Vatican telling you to not watch any film about Jesus. Is a smart funny satire about our world, that while funny, is probably more true than satire. A quick witted dialog film about Nick Nailor a lobbyist for the Tobacco Industry, and how his life and his family is effected by it.

The movie itself is truly lighthearted in almost every aspect of the movie. It seemed polished and fun, and even though they were talking about death and smoking and these issues that can cause quite heated debate, it seemed to all be taken with a grain of salt and was funny. I never felt weighed down by the subject matter, and instead was left with the characters and their portrayals within this world. It really let the story, and characters come out more, as we were not stuck over the moral issue of smoking ourselves, we let the clearly left, right and moderates argue it out on the screen. Being separate from the issue, it seemed to show those lines very well, and of course the humorous spin that goes along with anything that is now debated in this world.

While the movie doesn't really seem to try to throw a huge message at us, I think it still does, and doesn't dare offer a solution. It has it's statement about spin, and lobbyists, moral issues, and family. Usually something like this just seems to have such a heavy downside to it, but as we left the theater, we were smiling, happy, and felt we did have a good time in the movie.

All the acting was solid, I have nothing to complain about, especially like the MOD. And of course Bill Macy was awesome. Katie was not naked as originally shot and there are tons of rumors going around that psycho Tom used his pull to get the nude scenes cut so that his new baby machine will not be shown to the world. Except if you rent the gift, or just type Katie Holmes naked into google.

Anyway, add it to the queue, if you are interested it is as good as you expect it to be.

Rated: PG
Running Time: 96 Minutes
Year: 2006
Boobs: Zero
One Sentence: Is a turtle a forager?

Over the Hedge is Dreamworks new baby, hoping for the big cash in from their previous stuff like Shrek, after a mildly weak showing with Shark Tale. Over the Hedge however is not an original idea, at least the characters are not, they are based off of a comic of the same name that is syndicated in newspapers across the country. Here is today's comic. http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/hedge/ However don't let the animation of the scratchy quality comic turn you off from Hedge the flick. Over the hedge has quite a few shots that are pushing the limits of CG today for mainstream animation.

So we have very good CG animation going on. We add to that, a ton of big names for voice work. Bruce Willis, Steve Carrell, Avril Lavigne, Shatner, and more. Yes, Avril Lavigne is it in, surprisingly subdued and not horribly annoying. The cast I felt was put together quite well and all the voices worked out. I thought that Bruce Willis sounded a bit odd for the voice he was doing, but it didn't matter after a few minutes into it. Steve Carrell did the best job however, and was quite funny throughout.

So now we have good cast, and good animation, so is the movie any good? I think it was quite fun, and very well put together. It had a solid gang movie feel to it, like Toy Story, or the Bad News Bears. Where everyone had something to add and the ensemble was executed to allow everyone to shine in their own way. On top of that the story, and jokes and animation were all used very well to portray the story, insert a nice kids message about family, and entertain all at the same time. I think it is well worth the watch, and with the bad reviews coming in for the code, you might want to pick the hedge if you have kids. It is going to be a tough weekend at the box office, and I can't tell you to pick this one over the other because I haven't seen code yet, but I do have to say this one was well worth the cost.

Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 126 minutes
Year: 2006
Boobs: Zero
One Sentence: Better than I expected.

So last night I figured out something, a good judge of a movie for the general audience. I am calling it the Sneak Preview Loud Motherfucking Rude Ass Stupid Dumbfuck's That Are Too Broke To Pay For A Movie And Don't STFU Factor.

So I really like going to sneak previews, I would pay for a sneak just to see it 3 days early so i can write my review on time, it makes me feel more like a reviewer, even though the powers that be do not think I am. But they are actually free, which makes them cooler, except for 1 thing. Everyone that goes to these, is pretty much anyone who is broke and listens to the hip hop stations.

You have to get there really early as well because they give out more passes than seats. I got there and there were about 20 people in line before me. By the time we were seated there were about 100 people in front of me, I wonder how that happened? This always happens at the sneaks, but we still get pretty solid seats. So we sit and for the next 20 minutes the people file in, and try to sit in the press reserved seats, and then someone has to kick them out and then the people that got kicked out say, PRESS? WHAT PRESS? WHY DO THEY HAVE TO HAVE 2 ROWS!!!! Or something like that. The last sneak I went to was the grudge, and it was a nightmare, people would not shut the fuck up throughout the movie. Annoying loud and whatever. I really swore off sneaks, but a free early movie is hard to pass up so, I was going to try again. And I was pleasantly surprised. Before the movie everyone was an asshat, but as soon as it started, silence, a completely full 400 seats, quiet, save for 2 cell phones and 1 baby up front. Who shut up quickly. So I figured it out. The best way to know if a movie sucks or not to a general audience is if they are quiet during a sneak preview. The Grudge sucked, and it showed because the audience would attempt to be funny or talk or just whatever. MI3 was good because everyone was into it watching it and were actually quiet. Very interesting. So yea. MI3, was good.

Dare I say quite good. Shockingly good? The movie open's quite hard, and doesn't let up from the very beginning. It was action packed, in a very good way. I really had a very fun time watching this, even with Crazy Tom reprising his role as super agent Etan Hunt. They seemed to pull him a bit back compared to the tragedy that was MI2. They made him more human everyone else more human and the villain oh so awesome. Leading up this project is king of Lost J.J. Abrams, who was I think an excellent choice as he seems to have his finger on the pulse of the people right now. Far more than Tom, or someone like John Woo. What this led to, was a intense, fun, hardcore, movie, that was not the Tom Cruise show, and had a story, that suspended disbelief pretty well. Of course it was over the top, but we expect that, but can you say over the top but not so much so that it seemed ridiculous.

I would defiantly go see this in the theater this weekend, it was well worth the money I paid, even though I didn't pay for it. I think that anyone looking for an action flick would have a good time with this one for sure. 4+ stars, pushing 5 on the fun factor.

Rated: PG
Running Time: 90 minutes
Year: 2006
Boobs: Zero
One Sentence: Ice Age II, no humans, more Scrat, and a big old butt.

I saw this last weekend, when it came out to help fuel the 70 million dollar weekend box office take. But I am just getting to it now, I have been extremely busy, with a house, and work, and they changed the day of The Amazing Race and my downstairs DVR is being stupid, and splitting up fox recordings into 8 different pieces, and I have been feeling a little less wordy than I usually am. It all really has to do with a person at work, and I have been stressed, oh yea and the fucking time change. I also have had a 2 week headaches, and the fingers in one of my hands are numb, I am pretty sure I am going to die soon, or at least some part of me is going to fall off, so I have been concerned with other things that is all I am saying. The coming of something bad, perhaps like the sudden melting of a icy world that could threaten the lives of thousands of animals, with a great flood. (Had to go a long way for that one)

I would not consider Ice Age 1 one of my favorites, it had CG humans in it which automatically freak me out. I really don't like the way they look, and they were like scary cave man CG humans, and that just isn't a fun thing for me. The story was cute, but just not the best out there for the time, and I would not say it was a bad movie just not the top of the list. Ice Age II seemed to fix all those problems. First of all it didn't have any humans, which was awesome. I don't have to look at scary portrayals of artists representations of humans from the Ice Age. Second of all they kept what was good about the first one and added to it. They had Sid, did a lot more with him, and gave him a lot of jokes and playtime, it really made for a lot more humor. They also gave a lot more time to Scrat, which I think was a big request from Kids and Parents, hes solidly funny, and kept the joke mostly fresh even though it is the same thing again. I think these things really helped a lot with the overall fill of the movie and kept it going with a lot of subplots that could carry for kids and parents.

They added Queen Latifiah, as a Female Mammoth and love interest of Ray Romano's mammoth character. They added a few new fun characters, and added a lot more sub characters, to add a lot of different animals into the mix. It made for a lot more fun with the new technology with the CG since the first one, and to see the artists stretch with renditions of different animals is good for me. The water usage was amazing, and water technology with physics engines are getting just too good now, it really is getting to be where water looks as behaves as real water would.

So with all the new art, solid jokes, good technology, and a fun story, that had adventure, fun, romance, and enough for kids and adults to check out, along with nothing else for kids really out right now, I would go see it at the theater if you are looking for something to go see. It is PG, and those parents who consider words like ass, and references to butt's as bad things, will not want to bring their kids, the rest of it is fine.

Rated: R
Running Time: 123 minutes
Year: 2005
Boobs: 2 pairs
One Sentence: I got lost on the way to college.

The book Jarhead was met with critical acclaim by many, and harsh anger by others, who felt that Anthony Swofford told the truth a little too well. A tale of his life in the Marines, and his hatred for it, stating the worst decision he ever made in his life. The movie based directly on the book based directly on real events I guess would be considered a true story. Jake Gyllenhaal taking up the role of Anthony Swafford, in what is not a wave the flag movie. I think a lot of people misunderstood what they were getting into with this movie. It is not wave the flag at all.

The movie unfolds the pain and life of a marine sniper, from boot, to Desert Storm, and everything in between. Oddly though the movie is what I would consider comical. However not funny at all. The situations and presentation of those situations, are sadly silly and completely outside of the realm of normalcy. Nothing to do, eating sand, being told your gf is having sex with other men every day, lots of repressed gay overtones, going crazy, crying, hugging, crawling, jacking off, and doing absolutely nothing. While these situations are just off the wall, they are real, and as the movie goes on this is where it gets you. That this is what happened, and this is what happens, and that it is sad, because it is so outside of anything normal or safe or of the civilization they left behind. And if you project this movie from the tame Desert Storm to what is going on in Iraq now, I think it is just that much worse.

The movie is stocked full of wonderful actors, that help portray the story, from lifers, like Jamie Foxx, to Gyllenhaal, who can not wait to get out. The arrangement of characters just adds to the reality of the whole story, which seems to include the crazy to the dedicated, and those who lost their way or are trying to find themselves. And how those types of people handle being stuck in the desert for 200 days or more, with nothing but each other and the heat to keep them company.

The movie going down is light in most parts, in the end you will feel weighed down by it. It is a lot to take in and can be quite heavy in the end, but I would rent it for sure.